A vast majority of humans in my generation have experienced first hand or at least have known someone very close to them that has divorced parents. It’s outrageously common to meet someone who doesn’t have parents that are still together. Those facts only being based on every person I’ve ever experienced. The statistic being 76% of kids I meet have divorced parents. Myself being included among that percentage.
So psychologists say that a lot of kids in our generation have problems with authority, are coming out, and don’t fit into the mainstream quota of the “American Dream” concept. They are creating their own realities because they know that they CAN. They are capable of literally ANYTHING they set their minds to. pursuing their arts, dropping out of college, being part of the baby boomer movement (although that may not be intentional). But we are the more progressive, rebellious generation.
When it comes to our problems and issues that we have, it usually seems to be consistent finding our souls purpose, relations with others, and staying still (on an earthly level; job, money, location, possibly spiritual as well). This post will be centered around the fact that our relations with others always seem to falter, drift, or just dissipate all together.
From my personal experience, as of right now, I have no (typical) close friends.
When I say “typical” close friends, I mean people I speak to or see on a regular basis, there is only 3 maybe 4 people I confide in. The closest person to me right now is my sister. And currently we are on thin ice due to being employed by her and sharing a car while still living under the same roof.
In terms of relations I feel like a lot of our generation only truly makes what I call “surface friends.” Friends that meet and hang out because of certain cliques and stereotypes. Such as, my favorite subculture, hippies.
When I first became involved in this 757 “hippie scene” I was just another tree hugging, hula hooper, that was in need of familiar tribe. So I infiltrated (so it seemed) a scene that on the surface looks all happy and fun and free loving. Well that certainly wasn’t the case.
My hair ended up dreading itself because I don’t brush it and like to throw cool beads and braids among it. And after that EVERYONE began talking to me and seeing who I was. They were now curious because I looked like one of them. It seemed like I was well-liked and popular among the oceanfront crowd, and I was. I was in “the scene”. Then after doing the hippie thing for awhile, I cut off all my dreads in liberation and NO ONE spoke to me the same, or even recognized me. I was once again just another kid that came to Doc Taylor’s for music.
People began realizing who I was and the conversations slowly drifted. So I no longer am part of that clique of Virginia Beach. I remain friends with the people who actually want to know about me or my past or thoughts on life or whatever, and that is very few. People are still cordial but it’s not like I smoke weed constantly or get invited to the local hippie gatherings at peoples houses. I’m just not close with any of them because they only began talking to me because I looked “cool” in their eyes.
People say I’ve pushed them away, but I’ve always been on the same path. And it honestly seems like all anyone wants to speak about is who they’re having sex with and what someone else did to make them angry. Surface deep. The recent relations I’ve made have little depth and that saddens me because it’s not serving me, it’s not serving God, it serves no one but the ego. I do have some distant people who care about whats going on in my life and expanding themselves spiritually, but from a distance is harder for everyone.
Now when it comes to the intimate relations with men, I am not experienced on that department. I can only count the people I’ve been with on one hand and took a vow with the Universal Life Church after being “engaged” to wait until someone wants to be with for committed time. I haven’t been with anyone for more than 11 months and even during that time it was an unhappy sham because he cheated. So now, my relations with others are at a standstill.
In Darrin Owens’ book “Becoming Masters of Light”, he speaks of losing friends and people in your life everywhere while you are on your path to a sacred union with the Divine. He speaks of God bringing us the people that we need that will help us along our way and those of those who come into our lives only due to the amount of light we hold. And I believe he is absolutely right. So when I am seemingly alone and have “no friends” I am constantly reminded that I am never alone, and there isn’t a need for me to constantly surround my self with people just to feel okay and show off what I know or have. No one will ever truly know what I know or feel, only God will. And I like that.
Being alone with the Divine makes me happy, but I am aware that I am one of those who do need people on occasions to recharge and have something to write about. So I surrender in trying to find a tribe because I know that the tribe will come to me as needed. Same goes for a man. Once we understand that the things we want (friends, job, love, status) will come to us as we surrender our desires to the most high, set our intentions and let it go.