Pushed off the Edge

Today I fell. I walked out of my house at around 935 am to see that my subaru, which I’ve had for less than a year, had taken a terrible beating on my be half. front and back windshield smashed to shit, glass everywhere, and my left side mirror had been busted and broken. Nothing was stolen, although there was something added, besides rage and negativity, a huge boulder/rock that I assume was used to smash the back because it was in my trunk.


 I saw this and fell. I fell to the ground, screaming out of absolute disgust and a melodramatic emotional breakdown. This has already been a horrendous week. I quit my job and was persuaded into working out the rest of the month, mistake. I’ve had nightmare after nightmare for two weeks about people invading my home, stealing my things, coming after me in general. Needless to say i feel extremely insecure and unsafe at my current resident. I use resident very lightly because I really don’t enjoy being in this basement piece of shit. It’s certainly not my home. Currently my car was the closely thing to home and my subie Steve was destroyed.

Immediately my mind went to the neighbors that have been harassing us, then I asked myself, what the fuck did I ever to them? I may have evened the stakes, but they crossed a line and now I’m moving forward with pressing charges, taking it to the god damn bureaucracy justice system, and well see what happens. Silver lining..a new neighbor saw the whole thing. He is our only witness and not knowing us at all described the neighbors that have been harassing us and I knew I could get justice in this circumstance. After running through masses of red tape from the local police to the magistrate to the leasing office and back around the neighborhood twice, I raised my right hand and told my story to a local magistrate. Now a warrant for one of their arrests will be out shortly, a subpoena will be mailed to me, and then I probably will have to take my nose ring out, look presentable and raise my right hand again.

I’ve never been to court except to get my drivers license and even then it was a room full of other 16 year olds going through traffic court just like me. This is going to be so different. I honestly can’t wait for this to be over so that it can just turn to a distant memory and some material to write about. But whats curious about it is that all those dreams I had, I knew this was going to happen. Or something of this magnitude at least. Dreams don’t lie, and I’ll always wonder why I didn’t listen to myself.

Karmically, these guys are fucked nine ways to Hecate and back. It’s always followed me, this kind of automatic hexing or curse that if you screw me over or bring harm unto me some how, its going to be thirteen times worse for that person. Maybe not today, or this year, maybe not even in this life. One way or another, it won’t be pretty for them in the end of it all. I feel some how responsible for this, i brought this material/physical karma somehow. I haven’t figured out why but some where in all this shit, I deserved to have my car smashed. It just crumbles any shred of hope i had for Richmond, America and just humans in general. The provider was on my side this time though because something pulled or neighbor out of his house and showed him what these coked out infants were up to. Mischief. Destruction. Vengeance. I pray to all the gods my apologies and regret for whatever I did to deserve this. Perhaps the balancing i forced, but I won’t know that now. Not yet at least.

I worry for their outcome. I weep for my beloved car. I sympathize with their displaced anger. Now I’m off to stay with my mother in Virginia Beach and find my center. I never thought I would go their to re align myself with me. The irony of it all is that i don’t have the right insurance to cover this, it started raining, its Earth Day, Lunar Beltane and the full moon is in Scorpio. Thanks for reading. Namaste



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