I am Capable; I am Powerful

Long ago after my last visit to the hospital, I was finally starting to feel my capabilities. I remember that feeling now leaving a city of chaos behind returning to a place I always try to leave.

I made this random hooping video and it was featured on Hooping.org , which was a huge life goal of mine, even though its very small, this was momentous. The first hoop flow after my relapse. These lyrics will forever inspire me.

Each day that I wake
I will praise, I will praise
Each day that I wake
I give thanks, I give thanks
Each day that I wake
I will praise, I will praise
Each day that I wake
I give thanks, I give thanks

And the day that I don’t wake up
And transcend the holy make-up
I am capable, I am powerful
And the day that I don’t wake up
And transcend the holy makeup
I am on my way to a different place…

lyrics by Nahko Bear- Aloha Ke Akua

 

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WHY DO I WRITE?

Writing was always a therapeutic outlet for me. Ever since I was very small and could write, I always did. If I was upset or just happy, I would write about my day and boys I had crushed on. Then as I got older I seemed to resent it more because it was forced in school. I still journaled often but it was full of teenage angst and I never wanted to write more than I had to. So I fell of the page for a while until one weekend at Aura music festival, I rediscovered what I needed to do.

hoop

I was wondering around checking out the vendors and all the festival had to offer. This was my very first festival all by my lonesome, so I had complete freedom and uninhibited will to go and see everything and every one. It was a full moon, I believe it was valentines day as well. I was walking around looking for a fire to join, and I stood in front of a barrel I felt good about. There was a tall boy next to me who was blocking the moon light and I remember scooting over so I could have a clear view of it. I mentioned something about it to the couple of hippies around this barrel and they all admired as well. The tall boy next to me looked back at me and introduced himself. He was a good looking fella I might add so I knew I was in trouble.

His name was Mattias. He was Swedish and he had gotten himself a VIP pass and he too was all alone at this festival. We got to talking and had a lot in common and spent some time together for the next day then continued a relation for a little while after that. But while at Aura, he had brought some blue cap mushrooms with him. And if you’ve never had blue caps before I suggest not too take as many as you have, moderation with those things because they are troublesome little devils. We both probably ate close to and eighth and thats far more than I’ve ever consumed in one sitting. Needless to say, it went a rye very quickly.

Fungus takes a little bit until you can fully feel it coursing in your blood and effecting your vision, tripping you out, making you dizzy, and giving you the damn yawns. We wandered to the main stage and I think it was PapaDosio that we saw at that stage. I had seen them before and I love them; so I sat against a tree, listened attentively and waited for the trip to start. I remember watching an LED poi flow from this guy who was absolutely killer at it. Thats when the mushrooms hit.

I saw light trails coming off of everything moving, like in Donnie Darko when he sees that plasma pulling people to where they go. Everything got outrageously bright, like the sun had just risen and we were as close as we could be to that bright star. The trees got much taller, and I shrank smaller. It was super cold that night and I started shaking. I still don’t know if it was the mushrooms, just the cold, or both but I had to get up and go back to my tent. It wasn’t even because of me shaking, but because I was tripping hard and it was the most cerebral I had ever experienced.

It took what seemed like an hour to get back to my tent, I’m sure it was only like ten minutes though, but time slows down and speeds up all at once when you take psychedelics. Since I don’t take them often, that was definitely a factor of my super crazy mind falling out of my ears. I got back to my tent, and immediately burritoed myself into my sleeping bag and flew off into my head. I don’t exactly know if I fell asleep or stayed awake just tripping out, but either way this is what happened.

I mandala of Egyptian hieroglyphs, and geometric shapes all swirling in a vortex toward a black hole kind of center. I kept hearing me or some other manifestation of myself telling me to write this down. YOU NEED TO WRITE THIS. YOU NEED TO GO FIND PAPER AND WRITE THIS DOWN. YOU NEED TO WRITE A BOOK. WRITE A BOOK. I woke up at sunrise, took the craziest poop of my life, peed a gallons worth of pee, then went on about my day. That very week I believe I started this blog and began to write my heart out. I later found my voice, and the inspiration for the novella I am currently writing.

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So why do I write?

I write because its good for me. It heals my mind, and keeps my voice loud. Even if no one reads or hears, its my free form of therapy.

I ask you, why do you write?

Blessings and love

Tally

 

 

 

 

 

Eden Sank to Grief

Nature’s first green is gold, 

Her hardest hue to hold. 

Her early leaf’s a flower; 

But only so an hour. 

Then leaf subsides to leaf. 

So Eden sank to grief, 

So dawn goes down to day, 

Nothing gold can stay.

1970s Hooplah 

 I’m and crazy about Joni Mitchell in every way. From her style to her lyrics and music, she is absolutely inspiring. When I get a new album of hers (I’m only up to 4) I listen it to it on repeat until I’m sick of it (which never happens). I love you Joni Mitchell, and Brecken Rivera for your hoop and your inspiration and teachings of all of my Hooplah!!!

Here’s a link to the song without my distracted hooping ☺️ 

Tips From an Average Environmentalist

I have migrated once more but this time I’m locked in via lease. It’s a lovely studio in Richmond, with a lovely man whom I plan to marry. What I hope to accomplish by settling down for the time is finally getting down to the bear necessities. While at my grandmothers, I had been beginning the quest to zero waste.I began with the reduction of waste and trash, and that’s has been very successful. I’ve found alternatives for just about everything that is not good for my health and mental being. Baking Soda, Vinegar, and Dr. Bronners soap have been three main ingredients to this delicious experience.

So a few motto’s I live by when it comes to hygiene/personal care goods is “if you can’t eat it, don’t put it on your body”. Your skin is the largest organ, and takes in anything it is exposed to, so instead of having negative reactions and putting more mystery goop on it, let it heal itself and stop getting in the way. Then as for household goods, “clean should not smell as strong as it does”.  If you’re getting headaches and having to leave the room, just because it was “cleaned”. That makes no sense, you should be able to stay in the room that has been cleaned of toxins and germs, but…oh…wait..we have to leave the “clean”. We might as well spray pesticides on ourselves like we did in the 50’s .


  

Once the transition was made from no more bleach or Lysol, and just down right
carcinogenic products that gave me headaches and made me crave caffeine for some reason,  it was time to reduce the amount of things in my possession. Too much stuff makes me crazy and want to burn it all, or something drastic like that…

FIVE THINGS THAT HELPED ME MINIMALIZE STUFF:    

  1. If you don’t use it, LOSE IT! Now we all know there are far too many things in our house that serve no purpose whatsoever. There’s a great quote by “””” And sometimes we get overwhelmed with the beauty of it all that we just want as much as we can get, then it turns into a possessive competition where we think someone else has prettier whatever and that compels to either buy impulsively or slash our self esteem. If it serves no true purpose and is just collections dust, give it away. You just don’t use it, no need to take up the space.
  2. If you really can’t let it go due to those attached sentiments; take a picture, it’ll last longer  – it’s hard to let go of our pasts. And it even harder to let go of certain items we have invested a lot of time and energy into, and I know a boy gave you that shirt a decade ago, but you don’t even look at it any more, let it go, like Frozen. It’s only procrastinating you to move from moving forward
  3. Does it serve more than one purpose or function? Make it work!– Find things that mimic a Swiss army knife, they can do 10 things in one object. If it has more then one use, than  take advantage of the opportunity to rid yourself of having too many of the same thing. Find multiple uses for some of the things you have to help filter through the things that
  4. DITCH THE DISPOSABLE, RELY ON REUSABLE  – Come on, that is just wasteful, most of our trash is plastic crap anyway that will never break down and continue to pollute our planet. So by not throwing away every single ziploc bag or plastic grocery bag, find another purpose like in tip four. Most grocers now have a place where you can actually bring all those plastic bags and they will recycle them back into themselves and make more bags…but without the coast of the materials since we are giving back.
  5. Buying secondhand is GRAND!!!!! I try to only buy used anything, from clothes and shoes to books, music or kitchenware. Almost everything you need has already been made you just have to go look for it.


This are simply to help reduce your material items and no longer collect them. When it comes to reducing your footprint, it does take a lot of time and managing your priorities as efficiently as possible. Other simple tips such as buying in bulk, buying items without packaging or has recyclable packaging,  investing in reusable coffee  cups/sleeve and grocery bags, recycling, eco friendly light bulbs, unplugging as many appliances and plugs as possible. Keeping common sense about conserving is your best friend through this process.

NPO helping African women create jobs while being renewable

Now I know I’m not nearly as close as I’d like to be to reducing my carbon footprint, but like I said it’s a process, a fun and challenging one at that. So here’s a parting challenge for anyone who reads this…carry around a bag with you for one day, and put all of your trash in it, and see how much you really produce in one day! 🙂 Good Luck!




SUPER AWESOME RESOURCES FOR ANYONE REDUCING WASTE

http://www.trashisfortossers.com

http://www.zerowastehome.com

http://myzerowaste.com

Lets revert this toxic waste land into a Zero Waste Land!!!

 ~ JAI ~

Patience

Hooping is another form of ritual I do. It comforts me and lets me release my energy actively. I began hooping in 2012 and have come a long way with patience and practice. With both you get progression. This is mine.

I cut off all my hair again and moved into my own studio.

 

Jai Deva!

Namaste