I am Capable; I am Powerful

Long ago after my last visit to the hospital, I was finally starting to feel my capabilities. I remember that feeling now leaving a city of chaos behind returning to a place I always try to leave.

I made this random hooping video and it was featured on Hooping.org , which was a huge life goal of mine, even though its very small, this was momentous. The first hoop flow after my relapse. These lyrics will forever inspire me.

Each day that I wake
I will praise, I will praise
Each day that I wake
I give thanks, I give thanks
Each day that I wake
I will praise, I will praise
Each day that I wake
I give thanks, I give thanks

And the day that I don’t wake up
And transcend the holy make-up
I am capable, I am powerful
And the day that I don’t wake up
And transcend the holy makeup
I am on my way to a different place…

lyrics by Nahko Bear- Aloha Ke Akua



Eden Sank to Grief

Nature’s first green is gold, 

Her hardest hue to hold. 

Her early leaf’s a flower; 

But only so an hour. 

Then leaf subsides to leaf. 

So Eden sank to grief, 

So dawn goes down to day, 

Nothing gold can stay.

1970s Hooplah 

 I’m and crazy about Joni Mitchell in every way. From her style to her lyrics and music, she is absolutely inspiring. When I get a new album of hers (I’m only up to 4) I listen it to it on repeat until I’m sick of it (which never happens). I love you Joni Mitchell, and Brecken Rivera for your hoop and your inspiration and teachings of all of my Hooplah!!!

Here’s a link to the song without my distracted hooping ☺️ 


Hooping is another form of ritual I do. It comforts me and lets me release my energy actively. I began hooping in 2012 and have come a long way with patience and practice. With both you get progression. This is mine.

I cut off all my hair again and moved into my own studio.


Jai Deva!



Rituals & How They Healed Me

We all know what they are, and what they aren’t. They are not the stereotypical idiom of cults and satanism with blood and sacrifice and whatever other  thoughts come to the mind when that word is brought up in conversation. Rituals have become a sweeping phenomenon throughout the hippie culture in America. Its laced in with the spiritual side of our generation, with this insatiable need to seek knowledge of a higher spirit and connect with the higher self. I practice rituals, and have known many people who practice as well, and I feel that everyone would want to perform them because rituals can heal us westerners and our monkey mind.


<<Rose Quartz Merkaba, 20 point clear Quartz, Hindu Goddess Lakshmi>>

I began doing rituals, probably when began practicing yoga in 2007. After I learned more about theology and different cultures’ form of worship, I loved the idea of taking out moments of your life to ‘let in the light’ and give gratitude and express shame without the judgement of a westerner higher power saying THAT IS SIN THAT IS WRONG THAT IS EVIL. No judgements just honesty and intention.


People like Joanne and her friends Dori and Achintya (Miranda) are so good for us western hemisphere females. They communicate through a fluid way so all corners of our country can relate and understand. I watched this video after work and it was nice, it put me in a good place.


Today was the winter Solstice, my favorite holiday (holy day) during this unforgivingly cold season. Everyday after today, gets just a tiny bit brighter; we get just a tough more light. The longest night of these 365 days that we keep track of.

When I discovered the Divine Feminine, Gaia, Pachamama, Toci, Danu, Juno, Isis, Kali, Minerva. Whoever. The Goddess. The Great Female Spirit. Creations Daughter. I believe that Earth should be worshiped. I believe our home that we all live on should be bowed down to and taken care of. My rituals are usually based around her. And how I can help to heal her as she healed me.

How have rituals healed me? By sitting down and focusing my attention twice a month (new & full moon) or more, my mental state has become far more optimistic, surrendering seems to be easier and with an enhanced mental mind your physical always wants to catch up. Some days its a dancing movement meditation to Joni Mitchell. Rituals never have to be the same, its all about intention.

After being drugged up so badly this past hospital visit, my mind has caught wanderers fever with a side of basket case and self doubt.  I started back up slowly into my rituals (I was very side tracked after I was discharged) and the year 2015 has flown by like a raven. Dark yet still beautiful and mysterious. By practicing a short meditation and laying down my feelings of hopelessness or gratitude and opening the door to the light, I can feel myself becoming whole again.

Once I crossed that threshold of commitment, things fell into place as they say. I began praying with Mala, pagan magick and working with pendulum practices. The dream analysis that I do has sprouted from that as well. Life begins to seem a bit clearer every day the sun rises.

I urge anyone who reads this, if you don’t already practice rituals, today would be a great time to start. Today is a day of darkness and embracing that shadow side of our life. Feeling those emotions fully and then releasing them outward so that may be recycled into a higher form. Rituals are a blessing and I’m terribly thankful I began.




Seeking Spirit in America

From age 0-4 I attended a baptist church, then we my family relocated we began to go to a christian church. Then in my 8th grade year I was baptized then diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis 3 months later. Clearly that was not my path I was meant to go down. From then on it began to unravel and I began to realize the hypocrisy of western religions, and how America ties into it. The year after I began my freshman year of high school and was introduced to Yoga, Hinduism and veganism.

Since then I have studied Buddhism, Transcendentalism, Hinduism, Philosophy, and other metaphysical/esoteric subjects. I have strayed more toward Hinduism and Buddhism and have considered converted. The hesitation is just if I can live that kind of spiritual lifestyle while working a full time job, and staying in a very populated area of the east coast. All the while carrying a huge sensation to simply sell out, pack up, and head west.


I’ve finished the Series of Unfortunate Events, disregard the 5 & 6    

^^^^A very few handful of the books that are part of my studies^^^^^


I decided to stay on the east coast, working a part time job, paying an outrageous amount of bills, and selling everything through Depop & Etsy. Yet, I plan to keep my nose in the books, head in the trees, and feet bare in the earth. Winter is here and I tend to be more motivated because I don’t want the cold to defeat me. In the upcoming year, I will write like the wind, and study my heart out for the subjects that have shaped my values today. I will embrace my inner goddess, and push my body’s limits. I hope to fully devote myself and time to finding that purpose that we all seek.

Lately, I have been feeling a lack of connection. To the Earth, to my family, to my higher and spiritual self, and it’s because I’ve been distracted from them. I’m the reason that I’ve been distracted, and I haven’t done anything about it. I am the problem and solution. Sometimes there’s no need to move locations to find yourself. For me its better to get lost to be found.

Sometimes you are right where you are.

That’s what I intend to do. I am finding my voice again. Under this little roof, big things will happen.

Blessed Be Light Beings