I am Capable; I am Powerful

Long ago after my last visit to the hospital, I was finally starting to feel my capabilities. I remember that feeling now leaving a city of chaos behind returning to a place I always try to leave.

I made this random hooping video and it was featured on Hooping.org , which was a huge life goal of mine, even though its very small, this was momentous. The first hoop flow after my relapse. These lyrics will forever inspire me.

Each day that I wake
I will praise, I will praise
Each day that I wake
I give thanks, I give thanks
Each day that I wake
I will praise, I will praise
Each day that I wake
I give thanks, I give thanks

And the day that I don’t wake up
And transcend the holy make-up
I am capable, I am powerful
And the day that I don’t wake up
And transcend the holy makeup
I am on my way to a different place…

lyrics by Nahko Bear- Aloha Ke Akua

 

Blogger Recognition Award!

Sharing is Caring! Spread the love, and bloggers unite!

Big thanks to Tina at Invisible Illnesses Blog for nominating me!


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The Rules:-
1. Write a post to show your award
2. Thank blogger(s) who nominated you & provide a link to their blog
3. Give a brief story of how your blog started
4. Give 2 pieces of advice for new bloggers
5. Nominate 15 bloggers of your choice for the award
6. Comment on each blog to let them know that you’ve nominated them & provide a link to your post.
I’ve got a ton of posts about how my blog came to be, but in a nut shell… I began writing as a form of therapy and ritual. I was out of my mind since my body was all out of whack. Getting all my emotions and frustrations out of me and onto the page (and screen) has been a tremendous revelation of self love, diligence and commitment!
Now, I don’t follow too many blogs and a majority haven’t been terribly active, but I did my best!
7- Rosemary Fairy (although she doesn’t blog really any more, her IG is still inspiring)
My two pieces of advice for new bloggers would have to be read a lot and write a lot. Even if your feeling uninspired, just jotting thoughts and ideas down can spark inspiration. Also, go get out in nature. Take off your shoes and earth your feet. I swear, Gaia does wonders when we open our hearts to her and her inhabitants.
Blessings and love,
Tally

Scale Down: Rediscovering Minimalism

Cling


I love the things I have. We all do, admittedly. I moved around a lot when I was younger, and had a lot of people come and go in my life, so I really never clung  to people or houses. I clung to my things. My beautiful crystals, my pretty vintage finds, records, decor, hand-me- downs, and all my books. Plus a ton of other crap I’ve collected (hoarded) over my 23 years.

We just bought a van, so how am I going to fit all these things I love in this van?

I’M NOT

It’s just physically not going to be in the cards (or in the van). Hayden (my love) has very few things which is awesome because then hopefully I will take a bit of extra storage that he won’t use 😉 However! I will be very strategic on limiting myself to the amount of things I’ll store at my mothers house and bring on our ameri-van journey.

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I’m going to go through everything I own, see what holds value, and it if doesn’t it’ll be put into a category. This includes EVERYTHING I own. Its mostly clothes and art supplies that I need to scale down on. It also includes decor, books, Dvds, furniture, and everything in between.

HERES THE SYSTEM:

  • SELL– Depop, etsy, poshmark, let go, offer up, shit even Facebook is a good platform for selling unwanted items of all kinds. Things that are worth something to you and possibly could finance other parts of your life. People like to support you when you put yourself out there, in my case, it’ll help build the interior for our Dr. Vanagonzo.
  • KEEP– Only the necessities (project 333 was very inspiring) and items that TRULY bring value to your life. Key points- Does it make you want to cry having to give it up? Do you really need it or is it just a pretty desire? Can you do more than one thing with it? Can you just take a pic of it and feel satisfied preserving the memory? Consider the season as well!
  • DONATE– many people will benefit from you getting rid of the 40 pairs of shoes you own. Re-gifting is also another amazing way to get rid of things, while still loving it, now it can go to a different home leaving you with more space. I donate to a local orphanage since my clothes are still considered ‘youthful’ and also the a local homeless shelter. You can do the same, or donate to a different place/thrift store and get a tax receipt, which is always nice.

*Another optional pile you can have is the STORAGE category. This could be appliances, winter/summer clothes (whatever season it may be) and other practical things that you’ll need/want to use some day, but isn’t necessary on a day to day basis* (for us its appliances, summer clothes, gardening stuff, and other furniture that we’d like to put in out tiny home (or dome)  one day when we have land as well.


I’ve started the process already, and my car is just about out of space because its filled ONLY with things I can donate. I’m still sifting through the sell, keep, store categories.

I may cling to a lot of things, as we all do, but I can just as easily detach from it. Not to be a cynic, but none of it really matters in the end.

Its just stuff.

I’d rather have love and space.

If your trying to scale down and minimize as well

Here are some awesome links that inspired and helped me.

http://www.trashisfortossers.com

http://bemorewithless.com

https://minimalismfilm.com (which was first a book)

http://frugaling.org

Theres plenty others if you just google anything with the word ‘minimalism’ in it, these are just some of my favorite.

Also, I was just simply inspired by my claustrophobia and love for open air. Having too many things around me, suffocating me, made me CRAZY, as if I’m not crazy enough. I needed space to think and be still without constantly cleaning and reorganizing to maximize space I didn’t have.


These are my platforms of choice for selling, you should check em out! I hand make upcycled art and sell unique vintage pieces! There will be more to come!

MY ETSY STORE

MY DEPOP SHOP

WRITE EVERY DAMN DAY

Shine


So you wanna be a writer kid? well whoopty do!

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I was singing that in the style of the movie Hercules…just replace writer with hero…

~

In my eyes, they are nearly the same thing.

Words and books have changed my life. They have saved me from this chaotic world and the crazies that inhabit it (myself included). They’re the inspiration and foundation of any good writers humble beginnings.

I realized that I don’t write (or read) nearly as often as I used to because I don’t make time for it, I get lazy and uninspired, netflix finds its way to my eyes.. I know the truth. I know we all binge watch it, with their damned Stranger Things and The OA (my new favorite inspo). Its an international addiction thats completely acceptable.

Well I don’t like being consumed in my screens. If I had a typewriter I would use only that but those are expensive. So a laptop is my weapon of peace in a time of rising wars.

I WILL WRITE TO YOU, 114 PEOPLE I DON’T KNOW, EVERY DAMN DAY.

WRITE EVERY DAMN DAY

read every day too of course

then yoga breaks

because I’m cramping and the winter air stiffens my bones to the brink of torture.

It’s the best therapy I know. I shine here. Silently typing behind a screen. Snapping a photo or two to expand those thousand words I captured into a short story to inspire.

It helps to quiet my monkey mind. Excessive screens give me ocular headaches. I sleep better at night.

So this year to come will be book reviews/discussions a plenty, dream tips and honing your own mind to understand dream meanings, music I’ve wrote last year, movement therapy (hooping), and herbalism I’ve studied lately to help treat ailments and remedy the body instead of taking legal drugs the ‘doctors’ give us.

BLESSINGS AND LOVE

Tally

To Infinity and Beyond

Infinite

a prose about optimism; the best medicine for a cynic


There was a time when I felt like I was never ending. Like the children’s movie, about so many deeper things than two boys and a princess, as if I would never die.

I was expansive and luminous. Nothing could knock me down, I feared nothing and no one, and felt as if everything I wanted to accomplish was at the tip of my fingers.

I felt infinite.

That’s a feeling you don’t forget. I think most people should have this feeling once in their lives and if you’ve had it, you know it. Maybe it was riding on some roller coaster that stopped at the very top, and it seemed like you could live in that one breath forever. Then the coaster dropped you a thousand feet back down into a swirl of loops and whip-lash inducing turns. Until finally the ride was over.

That is the moment I live in.

I may not always feel it, but I remember the feeling like the smell of your grandmothers house.

When I feel the shadows creeping from beneath my feet, and the sun moves behind the clouds causing your neck hairs to stand as straight as the light post your staring up, I try hard to remember that feeling. It doesn’t always happen. Its soooo much easier to be a cynical, pessimist. Its so easy to be that asshole that brings down the room because you comment the simplest of facts such as,

WELL, WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE ANYWAYS

It’s easy to feel limited, especially in America where we teach our children that your born, you live, you die, the end. Which brings me back to the infinite.

Life is a cycle, just as nature is. Its not a line, its a circle

My favorite thing about spreading that philosophy is the expression YOLO that arose a couple years ago.  My retort to anyone who would use that awful acronym would be..

NOT IF YOUR A BUDDHIST

Not that I’m a Buddhist but I believe what eastern religions teach, that you don’t only live once. Maybe in this life, this body once but your spirit lives on and goes on and is ultimately

INFINITE

Specific? More like Vague Precision

Specific

I hope all this works, this is my first writing prompt and of course I get the worst word that only applies to my life when it comes in food form.


What the hell am I supposed to do with Specific? Write about something specific and be very direct about it? Maybe make specific part of the title (done & done), I have no clue.

But its got me writing so we’ll go with it.

When I think specific I think ‘Oh God, what am i supposed to say? theres nothing remotely specific about me, I’m indecisive and broad and all over the place’, as most 23 year olds usually are. That’s what we call ‘the struggle’.

The only specific thing about me is my big curly hair, which gets most of the comments from strangers. Same thing with my last name

VALLADARES

Is it Spanish? Am I Italian? How the hell do you even pronounce it?

VAL-UH-DARE-ES

Noun; person- canary island origin, Key west born, fourth generation conch, I will add

But the shitty thing about my last name, is that its not truly mine.

My father was adopted by a beautiful man who carried this name. Canary island heritage is someone else’s bloodline. Not mine.

So what am I? Specifically? Culturally?

Spanish, Irish, German, bit of Dutch, Filipino…

Thats only on my mothers side.

A woman who was married to my father did some research because she too had the inching sensation of where did he come from? Why would anyone give him up? It was the 50’s and his parents were probably young and out of wedlock.

She told me he was New Mexican Indigenous and Spanish directly from Spain. She was a spanish nurse coming to help in New Mexican territory and  he must have really liked her nursing skills.

Thats just a story I tell myself now, I don’t know how factual it is.

But my intuition tells me Indigenous/Native American is accurate. I’ve been called to that culture through many different channels and am very strongly  rooted in my feelings.

However, not knowing what or who’s blood runs through you, leaves you feeling half full and curious about your own self. You, the person who should know you best; and yet I don’t know my own past.

I suppose I’m not alone. That makes me American, I’m a mutt. One of those lonely pit bull pups that no one wants because of the reputation they hold (which is inaccurate).

That’s also probably why theres a ever browning population of people using Ancestry.com’s DNA testing thingy, and that 23 and Me people who do the exact same thing.

So this year, I dive into myself and go to every corner to find out who I am. Culturally, spiritually, geographically.

Is that specific enough?

Blessings and Love,

Tally